Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Here lately, I have been surrounding myself with romance. Whether it’s my reading Jane Austen, watching cheesy Lifetime movies, lighting scented candles to admire, while day dreaming about my ideal mate, or just facebook creeping (I do the latter a LOT more than I should), I have been making myself long for some type of relationship. It’s only natural for a girl of my age to long for companionship, but I feel like I HAVE to have someone. Perhaps it’s the New Year bringing on the fear of spending yet ANOTHER year alone and lonely, or just the coldness and chill of winter that makes me long for warmth and comfort of someone else. Whatever it is, I despise it. I am 19 years old, extremely busy with work and school, and I am barely able to make time to hang out with my friends. Knowing this, why do I feel the need to have a “boyfriend”? It’s an absolutely preposterous thought. Well, this being said, I have decided to do something that may sound a little strange. I am going to be my own significant other…well, I suppose that does not make much sense. How about, I am going to become significant to myself? I spend so much time trying to look attractive, fashionable, and of course meet the expectation of all the guys that I like, and little to no time in trying to meet my OWN expectations. I believe this is a mistake made by many young girls and can be a dangerous one to make. We are young, beautiful, smart women and we are wasting our time on trying to be something we are not. So right now, I am committing to becoming the best possible me that I can be, and I challenge you to do the same. Treat yourself as if you are the best date in the world. Take yourself to a movie, treat yourself to a nice dinner, compliment yourself, just get to know yourself and enjoy doing it! After all, we’ve all heard that you will never be loved by anyone else until you are loved by yourself.

6 lovely notes:

Jillian said...

Oooo, I like this post!

I've always made an effort to never be the sort of girl who needed a guy.
I'm a couple years younger than you, so it is a little bit different, but the idea is the same. I never wanted to change myself because of a guy, or become so intertwined within that guy, that I no longer had an identity.
But I always wanted a relationship none the less.

A few months ago, I came to the realization that I become the best Jillian when I'm involved with a guy, and let myself slide when I'm not.

I agree with you, we owe it to ourselves to "date" ourselves.

Jessica said...

Thank you for commenting! It's true. I've been wasting so much of my time trying to be likable to others, I've not been likable to myself! It's something I'm trying very hard to work on.

Sarah said...

I go through weird phases where I long for a guy too. I have been pretty much boy crazy since the age of 4. I think a lot about what I can do to get some guy to like me.Watching romantic stuff and listening to romantic songs does not help, I have to limited myself sometimes.It messes with your head.Lately, I want to figure out who I am and be more comfortable with who I am. Enjoy being young and do what you want to do!

Jessica said...

Exactly, Sarah. I've decided that I am ready to determine who I am before I expect anyone to fall in love with me. It sounds super cheesy...but I really need to learn to love myself.

Yelena said...

My sentiments exactly!! I feel like you read my thoughts and did a post on your blog.
Well, except I'm trying to work on my relationship with God. After all, the perfect man is God. One of my favorite quotes is: "A woman should be so lost in God, that a man must first search Him to find her."
I find that is so true, by getting lost in God, we can figure out who we are and we feel more beautiful - from the inside to the outside. That's what I'm striving for, which is in line with what your post is about! :)

Jessica said...

I did mean to put some emphasis on God in this post! I definitely agree with you there. I am trying to become the best person I can be, and with that being said, I should definitely improve my relationship with God. Instead of only trying to meet MY expectations, I should striving to meet HIS!

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!:)