Friday, December 6, 2013

Frankly Friday: Singleness During the Holidays


Hey guys, so I'm linking up with Amy from Taking Steps Home for another Frankly Friday. It's been a while but I think it's time for another one of these.

Forever Alone Christmas
[source]
Today, we're talking holidays. Single ladies, does anyone else get utterly depressed around the holidays? While I do admit that I have SO much to be thankful for, it's not easy being alone this time of year. Whether it's getting the adorable Christmas cards from families that you can't help but wish were your own or seeing all the toys on sale that you want to buy for your future kid-but that's pretty creepy-so you don't, or seeing all of the perfect "gifts for him" that usually don't mean for your dad. 

Every year, I think "Next year. Next year I'll have someone special to spend the holidays with." And then every year, it rolls around. Another Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. Another year of nosy aunts asking "Are you dating anyone?" and another year of the same disappointing "No...I don't even know anyone I'd want to date." (At this point I don't even know any guys I wouldn't want to date. It's hard when you work with basically all women! And every guy I DO know is married! But that's beside the point...) I don't mean to sound like Eeyore, but that's just how I feel.

And don't get me wrong, there are other times in the year when loneliness shows it's evil little head, but the holidays are especially tough.

I don't want you all to think that I have a totally gloomy outlook on Christmas. I love this season and everything it means. It brings hope, love, joy, and peace to a world that desperately needs it. I'm so thankful that I do have my parents and sister with me to share this time. It's just a little hard to be "alone" every year. One day, I may look back and laugh over the silliness of my Christmas woes. But this year, I'm repeating my hope. Next year. 

11 lovely notes:

Katie Aman said...

I'm so sorry you feel this way! In my family there are three girls and two of us are married while the other is still single. I know she feels this way sometimes too, especially when all of her (older) family and friends are prodding her constantly. It's no fun to feel alone, but all I can say is that just because you're married/in a relationship doesn't mean you never feel lonely either! I got married thinking that and have found out that marriage is not as happy as some make it seem (for me at least). Sometimes I envy my single sister! I suppose it's the 'grass is always greener' mentality. Just know you are loved infinitely by the only One whose love is lasting :)

Niken said...

hey, you know they save the last for the best? it maybe take longer than you think, but i know that you're a great person that deserves the great guy

Laura said...

Sorry the holidays are tough for you.

I find that the way to deal with the annoying questions that get asked over and over like "Are you dating anyone?" is to have a ridiculous and shocking answer.

Next time they ask you can answer with...

I've actually been looking at becoming a nun. (and have some real facts about a where you could go to do that.)

Oh! Yes! I actually met this boy that's sooo cute. He's 17 but that doesn't bother me.

Or maybe you can think of better answers. But the look on the faces of others is always fun. AND if you start being ridiculous in response maybe they will catch on that it's not so fun to be asked those questions over and over and over and over...

Jess said...

Girl, it's like you just read my mind. I was JUST talking about this with some friends on how the holidays seem to be the worst time to be single! It's even going to be one of my blog posts in the near future.

So, this just goes to show that you (we) are definitely NOT alone in our thinking. :)

Amy said...

high five x 10 and a thousand hugs.
girl you are definitely NOT alone in this struggle. I've been saying the same thing to myself year after year - and the let down happens. i'm trying to be as positive about this as I can be - its another season where I don't have to worry about buying the right gift to express my love for a male. ;) right, I mean at least we're saving some money hahahah.

Robin said...

Until I was 22, I was that single person with all the dating/engaged/married friends (my husband is the only real boyfriend I ever had). I remember these feelings about holidays. It's awkward when people are talking about going to their boyfriends' parents' houses for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's awkward when you have Valentine's Day dinner at home with your parents. Ugh.

(I won't give you the "Just be yourself! Someday you'll find a great guy!" cliche crap because it used to annoy me when non-singles told me such things. It was easy for them to say that because they **weren't single**!)

Rebecca said...

I completely feel you on this! It seems so idealistic to have someone special to hold hands with doing all the cute holiday stuffs with. We are just waiting for the right guy, it sucks now, but just think of how awesome it will be when you find someone! God has someone set apart for you, serving Him in love will help pass the time. <3

Meghan Gorecki said...

So completely right there. I'm sitting in a coffee shop writing & watching all these adorable couples walk past & I mutter, "Couples. Pffft." ...now that I typed that, I probably look a little creepy right now. #tooyoungtobebitter
Most days, I'm hopeful for yet another next year, more than a little wistful but happy where I'm at. <3

Natalie said...

From single girl to the other I will say yes and amen. And I'll leave it at that.

Melinda Ruth said...

YES. Holidays are tough on us single folk. I'm doing my best to recover from a breakup this year, and add the holidays to that mix and it's a little challenging at times!

So thankful for the Lord's grace in my time of need! :-)

Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day! Sorry I'm just now getting around to say "howdy". :-) I hope you have a blessed week!

Lacey said...

Sooo I know this is your old blog and this is an old post, but I wanted to comment anyway. I SO identify with this as well! I am right there with ya, each year I think "Next year...". And yes, I thought that this year as well. It is hard and annoying, but I find comfort in thinking that each year I don't get to spend the holiday's with someone special, it's one year closer to when I get to! :)